Kerala Diaries

I was born in Kerala. I have spent three decades on the planet. The cumulative time I have spent in Kerala in all these years isn’t more than 100 days.

As with many visits in the past (none lasting more than a week), the purpose of this visit too is to attend a wedding ceremony. I am here for a little more than a week this time hence I want to capture (whatever I can) about God’s own country through the blogpost – Kerala diaries. While updating this daily would be a bit challenging, I want to try and capture each day spent here in small blogposts. Here goes the first one:

Day 1: (23rd August 2014)

Wanting to breathe.

I am neither a nature lover nor am I an avid photographer. But something changes when you come to Kerala. The greenery makes you want to love nature and brings the photographer in you to the fore.

You feel like going for a walk, you feel like staring at trees and fruits. You feel attracted to the slowness, the patient calm, the lackadaisical approach, the smell of the earth, the wetness, the smell in the air.

That is when you realize that you are “breathing”. Never in my life have I given a thought to breathing. Today, I was enjoying taking a breath. I walked around a bit, took another whiff. Is this what we call breath-taking?

How many times have you felt like you want to breathe?  I have never felt in all these years. It was a routine and parallel task in our fast paced life. It is, infact, an auto-pilot task. We never bothered to ponder if we are breathing?

Kerala gives me the “wanting to breathe” feeling. And breathe again. And put this task into a program with an infinite loop. That is when it strikes. I have got to head back in 10 daysL.

All are welcome

Another aspect worth noting today was the camaraderie. It may not be typical to Kerala but probably a countryside phenomenon. I am staying at my brother’s place and he is serving the Indian Air force. He was in Mumbai with us and we came together today. He is coming back home today after six months.

The gates to his house are wide open. The front door is open too.  Everyone who walks by a small street in front of the gate loves to walk in, talk, and ask about your well being and so on. Everyone is offered to join the family for breakfast, lunch, dinner depending on the time of the day.

I contrast this to where I stay in Mumbai. We have two watchmen, a CCTV camera and a safety door. Ah! I forgot the intercom. I stay in this place since the last 1 year. I don’t know the names of the people in the 21 flats in the building. My cousin and my aunt seem to know the entire village. And they all seem to know him.

To sum up – The feeling of “Wanting to breathe” is a “rarest of rare” phenomenon. I have not traveled too much but I can bet that this is a worthwhile experience. So is experiencing the “All are welcome” effect.

If you visit “God’s own country”, try to experience this. I am sure you won’t be disappointed.

To be continued…

Day 2: 24th August, 2014

House Warming:

I wake up at 6 a.m. on most days. Today wasn't different. Normally, I hear the honking of buses, auto-rickshaws, and a lot of noise. I have a school opposite my house.

Today, I heard nothing. The silence wasn't eerie. It was pleasant. There tranquility is blissful. I decided to stroll around in the morning.  I took pictures of the house I was staying in. It looks majestic. What do you think? Check out some pictures below. 

They moved into this house two days back. All the well wishers were invited to bless the house and have lunch . At around 12 noon, people started coming in. By 1 p.m., the concept of well wishers changed in my mind.  

Around 100 people had walked in by then. I thought that is the number and no one else would come. How wrong was I? The steady stream of visitors did not stop till 7 p.m. I am not exaggerating. This is a fact.

I was wondering how so many people could be invited. I can’t fathom so many people at a house warming ceremony. To have so many well wishers was and still is an alien concept to me. The whole experience was surreal.

Anticlimax to “All is welcome”

This is probably the anticlimax to the “All are welcome” concept. You may not want to experience around 600 people coming to your house on a day after all J

Responsible citizens = Clean place

You can imagine how much food is wasted and how many paper plates, paper cloth; stale food etc. needs to be thrown out after such events. Unlike the system in our cities, no one comes and empties the garbage bin in the morning.

The question after all the well-wishers left was, “Where to dump the accumulated waste?” One of the suggestions was to throw it down a river; the rationale being that it will flow away because of the rains.

The final decision taken by my aunt and brother can be gauged from the picture below:

An underground pit was dug and all the waste food, paper plates, etc. was thrown into the pit. It was then covered by a thick layer of mud. The food will enrich the soil and there is absolutely no scope for disease caused by accumulation of garbage. I was amazed at the extent to which people could go to keep their surroundings clean. “God’s own country” is probably a result of the sense of duty that many such responsible citizen in Kerala have towards the environment.

It is late in the night and I am sitting on the terrace of this house now. I can see nothing but the silhouette of a few trees. But the darkness and the calm does not scare me. It only makes me want to stare at it endlessly till it gives way to the first rays of the sun. That is when I realize that sleeping is a much better option J

Day 3 and 4: 25^th August 2014 and 26^th August 2014

A day spent without learning something new is a day wasted. On 24^th August, when we had a mammoth luncheon session for the “well-wishers”, I learnt how to serve food, the local names of some of the dishes and the fact that fried rice in Kerala (at least in this part of Kerala) means rice mixed with cauliflower, dry fruits etc. J I also learnt how to manage a feast if the entire village comes to dine with you.

25^th August was a day of relaxation. I had breakfast, slept, read a book, talked to my colleagues in office and walked around aimlessly for sometime in the evening. And just when I thought it was a boring day, I got to know that we need to go to the airport to pick up my uncle.

26^th August began on an exciting note. I love going for a drive at night. The calmness and the breeze have a very pleasant effect. We left for the airport (which is roughly 120 kilometres from where I stay) at 12. 30 a.m.

We drove through the narrowest possible roads, dense forests, hilly areas, and so on.

The Formula One effect

Driving in Kerala is nothing short of adventure. It has its fair share of thrills and frills. You feel like you are on a Formula one race track. The roads are narrow and a thing line divides the traffic moving to and fro. At any given point in time, you feel like a 100 Michael Schumacher’s approaching you from the opposite direction. Every few minutes, you get the feeling that someone is going to bang into you. I am quite convinced that if India wants to beat Sebastian Vettel at his own game, the answer lies in scouting for talent in the villages of Kerala. There are atleast 100 Sebastian Vettel’s in the Kottayam Allepey belt.

The drive was awesome though. I saw some of the architectural marvels along with way. Some beautiful churches were seen along the road. We decided to capture some while driving. We captured some pics though they are not clear.

Bollywood Beats

As it was going to be a long drive to the airport, my cousin brother had put a lot of songs in a USB drive. I was fascinated when hindi songs started playing. I was expecting Malayalam film songs so this came as a pleasant surprise.

The tastes have changed. I remember coming to Kerala as a kid and having Malayalam songs play in the car. It is a welcome change (from my point of view at least) especially when we go for long drives. 

Allepey – The Venice of the East

While coming back from the airport, we took a different route. We came through Allepey – the venice of the east. A beautiful line of houses lined along a stretch of water, small boats, nice trees makes the region picturesque.

I was driving along this stretch. I was mesmerized by the beauty of the Venice of the East and have captured it in a video.

The Dress Rehearsal

After we reached home, I took a shower and had breakfast. That is when we all got together for the dress rehearsal (for the bride to be) for the wedding. The bride-to-be was decorated in Gold. The dress rehearsal was what I saw last before I dozed off. More than the bride, the people around were interested in Gold, its pattern, shape, design etc. I have always wondered why Keralites are so fascinated with Gold. I haven’t found a convincing answer till date. Any answers?

Tomorrow - the eve of the D-day has a function planned. A lot of activity is planned around it. I will try and capture the minutest details of a Malu wedding. As they say, everyone but the bride and groom thoroughly enjoy the wedding. I will be one of themJ

Day 5: 27^h August 2014

The penultimate day (in the context of the wedding) sees a lot of people coming from all parts of the globe to attend the wedding. We began our day with pick-ups and drops and this continued till mid-day. I was told that there is a Mehendi ceremony. I have nevert seen a Mehendi ceremony at a Malu wedding hence I was a bit surprised.

However, I looked forward to knowing more about it. The wedding house is always an organized chaos. Everyone seems to be an expert in everything and hence everyone has an opinion. Clash of opinions is unavoidable and it is fun to view such debates and points put forward. This is not to say that I enjoy heated arguments. I like to dissect the thought process as it gives me an insight into the quality of the so-called experts.

Mehendi Ceremony

At around 7.30 p.m., the stage was set and the bride was ready. There was an elevated platform bigger than a podium but smaller than a full fledged stage. The set-up seemed to me like a press conference. Cameramen and videographers seemed to complete the arena.

Behind the cameramen were a set of neatly lined chairs for the occasion and guests were seated on that. The bride was made to sit on the podium (let us call it a podium) with a betel leaf in her hand. Mehendi was to be applied on this by all the well-wishers. For the uninitiated, Mehndi or Henna is a paste that is bought in a cone shaped tube and is made into designs (this is derived knowledge courtesy Wikipedia)

I am not sure if this is similar to the mehendi ceremony we have in other parts of India. The bride was sitting on the podium and one-by-one people came and applied mehendi on the betel leaf. The picture is as below. This was followed by dinner and people left for some much needed rest before the D-Day.

(A picture below of the bride with the betel leaf during the mehendi ceremony)

28^th August 2014: The D-Day.

I believe in patterns and I am forced to believe that my sound sleep will always be interrupted. I have had my sleep interrupted by telesales teams of telephone operators to sell an extra SIM, someone ringing the doorbell for weird reasons and so on.

I hadn’t slept well in the previous two days. It was just small naps. I thought nothing can stop me in Kerala and set myself up for some much needed uninterrupted sleep. At 5 a.m. in the morning, the neighbour’s cock went berserk (hold your horses, I mean a rooster which crows at the break of dawn:J). It went about its job like a man possessed (or bird possessed) to accomplish its mission of waking up the entire area. It finally relaxed at 6 a.m.

Its mission was accomplished but mine wasn’t. I was deprived of sound uninterrupted sleep yet again. But this was not the time to crib or introspect. We had to get ready in a hurry and vacate the rooms for the bride and the ladies to get ready.

The Lungi dilemma

One of the serious challenges I face during such weddings is the fact that we have to wear a mund. For those who don’t know, it is a white colored lungi-like outfit with a border (which more often than not is golden in color).

I had to wear the mund because I had to welcome the groom.  As soon as I took a shower, I asked one of my cousins to tie it around my waist. I had chosen a dark red shirt intentionally as I wanted to wear a belt as a safety net over the mund and then hide it with the dark shirt.

I think I was successful in the attempt and once the mund was in place, I did not touch it for the next 8-9 hours. To my surprise, I started enjoying wearing it towards the end of the day.

I wonder how people in Kerala are so comfortable in mund. I admire the cine stars who can beat, punch, kick a dozen goons while they are in a mund.

(The picture below is of my nephew and I. We chose a very similar kind of shirt and mund, however, he seems far more comfortable in a mund that I)

To the Aisle

The make-up team getting the bride ready is akin to a set of doctors getting into the operation theatre. They got into a room with an unwritten no-entry board and went about their job for about three hours. When they were satisfied decorating the bride, she came out. This time she looked different. Adorned in gold she was, but to me, the glow on her face was much more lustrous than the allure of the gold she wore.

My mother is an avid reader of my blog and she thinks I write really well. (Of course, can any mother think otherwiseJ). I posted a question on why Keralites are so fond of Gold. While I was observing the bride, she answered that Kerala is a majorly matriarchal society and when a girl is married, the parents ensure that she had two weapons in her arsenal – Education and Gold. She asked me if I have seen any girl from Kerala who didn’t know to read and write. I did not have an answer. Even my grandmother knew to read and write. In the eyes of the Keralites, Education and Gold is the security that the girl is provided while she moves from her home into a new home. 

This is a noble thought. I think we should provide all girls in India with at least one of the two weapons. And that weapon isn’t Gold. Its education and it is worth its weight in Gold. I am proud of this thought process that Kerala has and I think the nation should inculcate the same.

However, Gold still doesn’t make much sense to me. But that is a different debate and can go on. The decoration of the bride was followed by a ceremony where she touches the feet of her elders and seeks blessings. This is the first time I was one of the people whose blessings was sought. It made me feel strange and … OldL

A bus was arranged for the guests. Getting all the people into the bus in itself is a huge task. One peculiar thing about Kerala is that almost everyone takes initiative to get the job done and it results in more “clash of opinion” and less “seamless execution”.

This makes me appreciate the organizational structure that we have in the corporate world. If everyone gives ideas and creates plans, there is little scope for great execution of projects and the chances of great companies coming up are bleak. It also makes me want to appreciate my colleagues who report into me and make the team look smart with their seamless execution capabilities; many a times bringing some of our challenging ideas to life.  

Coming back to the wedding, we somehow managed to get all the people into the bus and reached the venue of the marriage in time.  There are a set of experts who are called to advise on the rituals before the wedding and to anchor the wedding ceremony. Its strange but in Kerala (in the Hindu Nair weddings), there are no priests. These “so called” experts are the ones with the know-how of the latest rituals and they are the final word on these matters.

I was supposed to receive the bridegroom (being the bride’s elder brother from her mother’s side) and welcome him with a bouquet. Then, I had to accompany him to the wedding stage (“mandapam” as it is called in Kerala).  While I was moving with the bridegroom, an expert said that the girl’s father should be accompanying the bride and not her brother. There was a debate walking along with us. I will just write a translation of the debate in English (it took place in Malayalam) but I found it hilarious.

(While I was walking into the auditorium with the bridegroom, two experts were walking on either side)

Expert 1: What are you doing? The girl’s father should be taking the bridegroom to the mandapam

Expert 2: Ofcourse, not. It is the girl’s brother (that too from the mother’s side)

Expert 1: No, it is the girl’s father. I have done this on numerous occasions before. That’s how it happens in our part of Kerala.

Expert 2: Then you go and do it in your part of Kerala. This is how it works here. The wedding is taking place in our jurisdiction hence the rules followed will be ours.

I just wanted to laugh out loud. Finally the argument was settled in the brother’s favor and I walked with the groom to the stage.

The rest were the wedding rituals which I won’t delve much into. The great positive (or should I say solace) I take from our weddings is the fact that it gets over in about 15 minutes. If you get stuck in traffic jams; you are highly likely to miss the ceremony.

Where’s lunch?

As soon as the wedding ceremony got over, a person asked me where lunch was being served/ where the dining hall was. I told him I did not know and told him that I would enquire and tell him. I just turned to ask and turned back in about 20 seconds. By that time, he had run towards the dining hall. This was just a sample which represents a huge set of people who come for such weddings in Kerala. People just wait for the wedding to get over and if you are anywhere close to the dining area at that time, you are likely to die in a stampede.

Bidaai and post mortem:

Bidaai (I don’t know what it is called in English) is when the bride finally goes to the groom’s place after the wedding. I think people derive some sadistic pleasure from seeing the girl and her parents cry.

I was happy to see the bride leave the place with a smile. The father’s eyes were a bit moist and the mother bid good-bye and hid in the vicinity (probably shedding a tear or two in private) away from the prying eyes and cameras.

Post the wedding, everyone reached home. A lot of relatives had gathered and I could hear interesting comments. It was like a post-match analysis after a cricket/ soccer match.

After a long day, people went to sleep. I had to leave the next morning at 5 a.m. for an interesting trip. The details of this will form part of my next post. 

The last three days: 29^th August to 31^st August

The trip that I just spoke about began at 5 a.m. We drove through the darkest possible alleys for at least an hour before we could reach destination 1.

The Pious beginning

We couldn’t have begun on a more pious note. Destination 1 was a temple, very close to the place I was born. My grandmother often says that she knows I was born at 8.10 p.m. because the she could hear the temple bells from this temple coinciding with the news of my arrival.

It was raining slightly as we walked across the huge temple complex. There were idols of various deities and we offered our prayers to each one of them. We walked across the temple and there he was -Majestic as ever he was, in his small arena, with a lazy elegance that a few on earth can carry so well.

From there we began our journey to destination 2.

The Tranquility and the Delicacies

The journey is a treat as the sights along the road are picturesque. Kerala is very active very early in the morning and 7 a.m. is like 9 a.m. in the city.  The endless paddy fields on either side of the road is a treat for all senses. Driving with so much greenery on either sides and the tranquility around is an experience in itself. I managed to click some pics of the endless paddy fields and houseboats.

We had a long distance to cover; hence we stopped for breakfast at a decent looking restaurant along the road. The dishes served were awesome, which to me is an apt amalgamation of delicious and cost-effective.

There were some interesting items on the menu. Malayalis, especially those reside outside Kerala, will have fun reading the menus in some of these restaurants. Watch out for the 5th and 6th item from the end on the right hand side of the menu in the picture below.

 The holy city

From there, we moved ahead to destination 3. We drove for another hour on the National Highway and then turned right. The sights that welcomed us were fabulous. We were surprised to see skyscrapers. And they weren’t residential buildings. The infrastructure was as good as the best 5-star hotels I have seen. I came to know that these buildings were infact, colleges.

It was clear that this village had transformed into a world-class hub. We drove a bit further seeking directions to our destination. The drive allowed us to see an exciting mix of the village houses, shops, etc. and beautiful looking college buildings.

The drive came to an abrupt halt when we saw a water body - a huge stretch which probably joined the Arabian sea at some point.  There was a huge bridge over the water body which would take us to our destination. We walked across the bridge and the view could inspire the best painters on earth and keep them there till they put it on their canvas. I was very tempted to take some pictures.

After crossing this bridge, we entered the building and this was the destination. It was a huge complex of about 20 odd buildings (and huge skyscrapers at that). The place is called Vallikavu and what I just described is better elicited by Wikipedia in about three lines.

Vallikavu is a small village in Kollam District of Kerala. Vallikavu is chiefly inhabited by the fishermen community. Amritapuri is an important place here. It is the residence and headquarters of a global spiritual empire of Mata Amritanandamayi Devi. The Amrithanandamayi Ashram, is an international pilgrimage destination known for its educational and medical institutes is a major landmark here.

A beautiful place is one thing. Amritapuri definitely is beautiful. What is more interesting however, is the co-existence of peace and diversity. People from probably all countries of the world were present in the campus living in peace and harmony.

The natural next question (at least in the heads of people who know me) would be why I went there? I went there to meet the family of one of my best friends, Maneesh Sivadas. A decade old friendship is what we share but over the years we have become family and I can walk into his house without even him being there.

This is exactly what happened. Maneesh and his family are ardent devotees of Mata Amrithanandamayi. I do not remember a single day when Maneesh has not prayed between 8 and 9 in the evening. The same is what his family follows. I have always admired Maneesh’s strength, endurance and patience. This probably comes from hours of meditation and the great learning he attains from the global guru Mata Amrithanandamayi.

Maneesh’s father came down to pick us up and we went to the 14^th floor of one of the buildings. The family owned a flat on this floor. We could see the sea from the room and the breeze was awesome. There is something in the air at Amritapuri. It is probably the air here, that is a panacea for many illnesses.

Maneesh’s father explained to us that many people who come and stay in the place (ashram) are disturbed or ill. They come here to seek peace. By embracing them all, Mata Amrithanandamayi  does a great service to mankind. I was in Mauritius for over a year in a place named Quatre Bornes. Mata Amrithanandamayi ‘s ashram was just besides my house. I am sure the divine Mata and her disciples make the world a great place to live in by showing human beings the path to peace and undertaking extensive amount of charity.

Maneesh’s father told us some of the incidents about Amma (Mata Amrithanandamayi  is fondly referred to as “Amma”). He told us about how she could foresee a lot of problems and was able to guide her disciples along the right path.

After meeting his mother and having spent good time with Maneesh’s sister Smitha chechi and his lovely two year old niece (who is also named Amrita), we walked back along the road. This time I did not want to miss it. I clicked a lot of pics which I am sure you would enjoy too.

If you get a chance when you go to Kerala, please do visit Amritapuri (in Vallikavu). I have never been to a place which truly defines the meaning of the word “holy”.

From there, we left and tried to go to a nearby beach. We drove back to the national highway and turned right. We realized that the beach is about 55 Kms drive so we decided to drive back home.

The Cine Idol – Lalettan

Our home was about 3 hours drive from where we were at that point in time. We drove for about an hour and it was time for lunch. On the way, we saw a theatre. It was a Friday and hence a new movie was releasing. The movie starred Mohan Lal (popularly called Lalettan) , the cine idol of Kerala who has ruled the movie industry for about 35 years now and is still going pretty strong.

We decided to book the tickets and go for lunch. When we came back, what we saw was nothing short of mass hysteria. People were eagerly awaiting the viewers from the first show to come out to seek reviews. As the first lot came out, we could hear slogans “Mohan Lal ki Jay, Lalettan ki Jay.”

 We went into the theatre and there was not a seat vacant. There were a lot of college going kids who were sitting in the row before us. They were tearing pieces of paper and putting it into a helmet. I wondered why they were doing it but decided to focus on the screen.

The movie began and a lot of whistles and cheers were heard. In Kerala, the movie isn’t a movie, it’s a celebration. Hence, movies are made in a fashion where the cine idols have to be larger than life. In a few minutes, Lalettan made his entry in a “mund” (a similar mund like the one I wore on the wedding day. However, Lalettan was so confortable that he could play cricket and run to and from the batting crease with ease as depicted in the first scene. I was glad I wasn’t Lalettan. If I had to play cricket wearing the mund, it would have been a sure shot recipe for disaster.)

The euphoria in pics

The movie was good and after having soaked in the Malayali euphoria for a Mohan Lal movie for the first time ever, we headed back home. We were too tired and hence hit the sack earlier than usual.

The next two days were a spent meeting relatives and friends.

In the morning on the 1^st of September, at 4 a.m. (even before the neighbor’s rooster could make its presence felt), we left for the airport to catch the 8 a.m. flight to Mumbai.

The Go Air flight took off on time and I could see the greenery below me. The picturesque image was slowly fading away and getting replaced by white clouds. The dream-like Kerala was distant now as I dozed off – only to wake up, when I landed, in – The City of dreams – Mumbai.