The first Happy Birthday!!

A chronicle of incidents from month 8 to the first birthday. To begin with, a family pic ... the three of us!

Hey Ananya,

You are a year old today. The last four months have been eventful. We, Deepa and I, are really impressed with how well you have adjusted to the scheme of things since Deepa has resumed work. You wake up with us early in the morning. Deepa bathes you at 7 am. You are happy and cheerful all along, never crying. All raring to go. You must continue this for life I think! 😊

The first Vishu

Vishu is the new year of Keralites. You should read more about it on Wikipedia to get a better idea. An easier way might to talk to your grandparents. 😊  

In the morning, on Vishu day which was on 15^th April 2018, Deepa arranged for the Vishukani (google this to see how it looks). In the wee hours of the morning, during the time of the Kani, Deepa took you near the Kani and you looked at the decoration in awe. I, like frenzied paparazzi, climbed on the bed to click a picture. When I got down, I hurt my leg too.

We went to have the Vishu Sadhya at your grandparent’s house in Andheri and in Nerul.

The expression of feeling

You got used to being with your grandmother and grandfather from Nerul. Then, an emergency required them to go to Kerala for around three weeks. They came to say “Good Bye” to you. And you wouldn’t leave Achchama (Nerul Grandmother). You hugged her tight and refused to leave her. In fact, I am told you even feigned to be asleep. That’s some acting at this age. 😊

The first words

I think you started saying “Amma” and “Achcha” (though Achcha was pronounced as Aththa”). I am not sure if you really knew what it meant. They mean mom and dad respectively in Malayalam. I always believed you were calling me when you said the word. It may be an overdose of optimism from my end because there wasn’t much telling me that you were referring to me. As for Amma, I think you were talking about Deepa.

Interesting Observation

 During a conversation around this time, I asked Deepa, “How does the child invariably utter Amma and Achcha when they do not know what their mother tongue is. She made an interesting point and said that the language must have defined it as mother and father because those were the first words most children might have been uttering. I loved the thought. It had a judicious mix of “reverse engineering” and “analytics”.

Ok, I get it. This is not about technical things. Moving on…

Morning Walks

Every Saturday, you and I would go for morning walks. We would roam in and around our neighbourhood in Seawoods. You took great pleasure in looking at the pigeons as they flew away. You were also in awe looking at flowers, plants, dogs, children playing in the garden, adults going about their exercise routine etc. Many of them smiled at you but you mostly kept a straight face.

Curious case of button

At home, I would wear three-fourths which used to have pockets with buttons. While playing with me, you used to get fascinated with these buttons. You used to look at them for long and wanted to pluck them out of the piece of cloth at times.

First teeth

Deepa and I were discussing about how you would look when will have your milk teeth. We were wondering if it is due and if you will spring it late. And, then, slowly one pearly white sprang out. We were so happy. In no time, we saw around four milk tooth springing in quick succession. Two on the upper jaw and two on the lower jaw.

Your smile glowed more. It was more radiant than it already was. We loved it.

After dinner, I used to take you to the wash basin at times to wash your face. While doing so, you used to bite my fingers. I used to act like it hurt me a lot. You enjoyed it to the core. You laughed at my expressions and that encouraged me to do this even more. It continued till your mother came in and restored some sanity.

However, despite Deepa’s efforts, we continued with our little game after dinner on many more days.

Ton … Ton …

As soon as I leave office, my focus in crystal clear. I want to reach home as quickly as possible to spend time with you. At home, I would walk around with you.  On one of the days when I was walking with you in my arms in the hall room, you started uttering something which sounded like “Ton..Ton” to me. I have not yet understood what it means. However, my mother (your Achchama) claims that it is ten and whenever she says “One..Two..Three.. … … Nine…” , you end up saying “Ton..Ton”

Climbing on the bed

You had now become a pro at crawling. Now, you were wanting to stand up. At night, you would stand up on the bed, balance yourself for a few seconds, raise both hands and dance and then fall flat on the bed. You used to enjoy this routine so much that you used to keep repeating it till you slept. If I was sleeping, you would hold on to me and stand up. You really enjoyed standing up with whatever support you could get… sometimes even without it.

Lights

I would light up the house with various lights, sometimes even switching on the chandelier. You would love it so much. Whenever I said “light”, you would invariably look at the light in the room.

First Rain

You enjoyed the smell of the first rain. You would stand near the window sill and enjoy the sights. As we have a school playground opposite our house, you used to enjoy seeing the kids play in the rain.

Crawl and climb on chair and sofa

The L-shaped sofa at home is your play area. You would hold on to it and walk around. As soon as you walked the stretch, you would feel very accomplished and give us a hearty laugh. That is priceless. That is what Deepa and I live for. Keep it going. I mean the hearty laugh, not running around the sofa. Just thought I would clarify. 😊  

Fly in the air... When I throw you up

You are a fan of acrobatics. If I flung you in the air, your joy knew no bounds. Sometimes, I would run a bit with you in my hand and you would express your joy by laughing out loudly. I enjoyed throwing you up, twirling with you in my hand etc. There were many people around though who advised me against doing it for obvious reasons. However, I used to continue this occasionally as I did not want to deprive you of such small yet significant joys.

Trying to catch small particles. An Eye for detail.

While playing, you would often wait and stare at the floor. Your tiny hand would then slowly move towards something. I used to wonder what it was. I would then realize that it would be some tiny, almost microscopic, particle. You would put a lot of effort to gather it between your fingers. It would result in many unsuccessful attempts, but you would persist. (I love the fact that you persist). Finally, either you get it in your hand or you just give up. But I have observed you giving up after giving it a whole-hearted try. You should continue doing so and give things in life a whole-hearted try. However, equally important is for you to know when to give up and move on. You demonstrated both in this small little activity. I think the experience was awesome for me as a silent observer.

Drumming the Drummer

Your uncle, Jagdeep, bought a toy for you when he came back from London. The toy was a drummer with the face of a teddy bear. Once you key in, the drummer would walk around and beat the drum on his own. It was a lovely toy.

However, you would kick it and throw it around. You took great pleasure in kicking the drummer on his head and using your hand to toss him across the room. I wonder why you did it but it was fun watching you do it. 😊

Pigeon Pigeon

There were some sunny days in June too. You would stand at the window sill and try hard to climb it. Sometimes, you would move around. I was wondering why and then I realized that you were trying to see the pigeon. You would even call out pigeon, but the words wouldn’t come out that clearly. You enjoyed watching the pigeons.

The Welcome

When I came from office, you would look at me and give me a smile. It was almost a laugh. I really loved the fact that you loved to see me coming back home. I really looked forward to it each day.

Keep playing even at night

Ananya, you are a bundle of joyful energy. You would continue playing, sometimes late into the night, when both Deepa and I would be tired. I would like to tell you that Deepa has been very patient with you and would wake up many times in the night, just to play with you or to put you to sleep again.

Star bday... Trivandrum... Turn of events

So, we were two days away from your star birthday. At dawn, I got a call from Maneesh uncle. He is one of my best friends. His dad passed away in Kerala. I decided to go to Kerala. I was accompanied by another one of my best friends, Dinu uncle. You and Dinu uncle’s daughter Nivi are the same age. Your respective mothers are good friends too. Its more like family.

After his last rites and after spending some time with Maneesh uncle, we went to Trivandrum. As it was raining heavily in Cochin, we had booked the flight from Trivandrum. And as things would have it, I was in Trivandrum (or Thiruvananthapuram) on your star birthday. In the morning, Dinu uncle and I went to the revered Padmanabhaswamy Temple in Trivandrum. I would not have in my wildest dreams imagined that I would be there on your birthday. I have heard a lot about the temple and have always wanted to visit it. But being there on your first star birthday and offering prayers for you was divine, pious and almost surreal.  

I am sure the turn of events has some connection with the cosmic forces. The fact that I was in this “sanctum sanctorum” of sorts on your first star birthday cannot be a mere coincidence.

All fell down ....

In the evening, you and I had a dedicated play time while Deepa prepared dinner for you. She is very particular about your food, clothes etc. She bought dedicated vessels, plates and spoons, all clean and shining at all times. She took great care to ensure that you were healthy and free from any disease or infection.

While she prepared your dinner, you and I would play. I used to sing "Ring a Ring o' Roses” for you which ended with “All fell down”. You had taken a liking to the word “down” and you used to repeat it with me. That is probably the first English word that you kept uttering occasionally. I think you enjoyed the sound of it.

You Turn One Today

So, you have turned One year old today. Very Happy Birthday Ananya. I cannot explain in words the amount of joy you have brought into our lives. I wish that you are always as cheerful as you are.

I wonder what I need to do to be a great father. I do not have an answer even today though I have spent a good amount of time thinking about it.

I think the two things I would want to do for you is:

1. .          To instill great values
2.        To help you to find your calling at a very early age.

I am sure Deepa will take care of either aspects if I miss it, but I would want to focus on helping you achieve the above. I genuinely believe the above accomplishments are a definite way to ensure that your exuberance and joyful demeanour remains intact and you keep soaring higher in life and make this world a better place.

Happiest birthday to you from Deepa and I. May the Almighty bless you with the best of everything in life!!!

Have a lot of fun. Life is meant to be lived that way!

The First Celebrations and the First Flight!

Hey Ananya,

You are 8 months old today. (I am sorry I am publishing this a bit late. Had kept it ready on the second day of April. Couldn't publish here due to my busy schedule. Your mom received a copy on April 2nd :-)) 

Anyways, moving on. Let's see how well you have progressed along. 

You are making great strides in your journey. Congratulations!!

The last two months have been eventful. You have experienced many firsts. I would like to describe some of it.

6-Month birthday celebration!

Birthdays are normally celebrated when you complete one year. But, we couldn’t wait to celebrate something with you, for you. So, we decided to celebrate your 6-months on this beautiful planet.

I came from office a bit early. I reached home by 7.15 pm. Yes, that’s early compared to my normal standards! I went to pick up your Achchachan (grandfather) and Ammuma (grandmother) from Nerul. We came back with a cake. Vinu uncle was working in a late shift. He probably excused himself and made it for you.

We cut a small chocolate cake. Gave you a little taste of it too! You had fun. I am amazed by your poise when there are a lot of people. Neither I nor your mother seem to have this trait. So, keep it up!

After the cake cutting, we had a lavish dinner to culminate the celebrations.

First Wedding Attended by you – Dipti’s Wedding

I am sure if you are reading this, you already know Dipti. For everyone else, Dipti is Deepa’s younger sister, and hence Ananya’s aunt.

On 11^th February, 2018, Dipti and Rahul decided to take their vows. That’s the first time you went to a function attended by more than 100 people. It was at the landmark party and marriage hall in Goregaon. You know what’s special about the place? Well, your parents also got married there.

Again, I was absolutely impressed with you being at ease with all the people, the celebrations, the occasional noise of the drums. Nothing seemed to faze you. At barely one year of age, you can manage in a scenario which can give jitters to adults. So, well done!

First Flight – Mumbai – Mangalore (Spice Jet)

February is normally a busy month with our annual plans and activities. I will explain about this when we talk but it is not important here. What’s important is your first flight. The first time I took a flight was when I was 17-years old. You are doing it at 7-months of age; it sounds exciting to me! I think your mother had done it when she was six-months old. Let me share a little secret – She is still not comfortable during take-off, but you seemed to be so much at ease. In fact, you slept thorough the take-off without a care in the world.

The idea was to go to Kerala (our native place). A brisk trip was planned, and we went to Kerala on Wednesday, 28^th Feb, 2018. I had booked an Uber at 6 am to catch the 0845 flight. You slept in the Uber and at Mumbai airport too. By the time, you woke up, we were in the skies and about 10 minutes from landing into Mangalore.

Why Mangalore? Though its in Karnataka, it is the nearest airport to Kannur in Kerala. This is where your mother’s native place is. We visited your Achchchan and Ammama (Deepa’s parents) house. We stayed there for three days. The place is beautiful and seems like a hill station. The peace and tranquillity are unmatched.

Temple Spree

In those three days, 28th of February to 2^nd March, we visited a host of temples in North Kerala. Let me tell you that this was my first visit to Kannur, just like you. So, whatever you saw was a first for me as well. 

Your uncle, Jagdeep, had come down for a surprise visit. All of us were taking care of you and playing with you. We visited the following temples with you. You can read about it in the link below.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trichambaram_Temple 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rajarajeshwara_Temple

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muthappan_Temple

We also visited your Achchachans ancestral home, your Ammumas home and the respective relatives. It was a fun filled three days with a lot of travel for you.

The first train Journey – Kannur to Changanacherry – Malabar Express

On 2^nd March, at 9 pm, we had to leave for Changanacherry. While your mother and I are both Keralites, we are poles apart (no pun intended here 😊). She is from the extreme north of Kerala and we belong to the South. We are from a place called Mavelikara, which is in Alleppey district of Kerala.

So, we boarded the train to Changanacherry, that’s where my grandmother is, and we wanted her to see you and bless you. We reached there and stayed for a day. We had a lot of fun. You were thoroughly entertained by your uncles, aunts and ammumas.

After an awesome trip, we came back home to Mumbai.

Another family function – celebrating the first PhD in our family at Kamothe, in Navi Mumbai. 

Your aunt, Viji, had received her Phd. Vinay uncle and Viji aunty, had thrown a party to celebrate this. They stayed very close to our house (yes, a house owned by us in Kamothe). The party was arranged by them in that house because it was unoccupied. This is the first time you saw our house. This is the first house that I bought after starting to earn a salary. It will always remain special to me.

However, we were there to celebrate a special achievement. You gifted your aunt and congratulated her on achieving her Phd. The food was great, and we had fun.

Mom resumes work – Your day-care with grandparents

Since you have two sets of grandparents, let me make it easy for you. My parents stay in Nerul. Let’s call them Nerul grandparents. Deepa’s parents stay in Andheri. Let’s call them Andheri grandparents from now on.

Deepa got a six-month maternity break to take care of you. And she left no stone unturned to take the greatest possible care of you in these six months. It was hardly a break. She did not sleep much and did not leave you alone for even a minute in these six months. You are a lucky child. You got all the love and attention that you rightly deserve. But do remember that not all children are so privileged. Always be grateful for it!

Moving on, let me take you to 12^th March. It was a Monday and Deepa was going to resume work. She worked in a software company named Hexaware which is about 13 Kms from where we stay in
Seawoods.

We had arranged for a driver named Sambhaji, who knew us for long, to come and pick us up, drop you with Ammuma and Achchachan at Nerul and then drop Deepa to office. It was no easy task. We all got up at 5 am. Deepa got ready by 6.15 am. I looked after you till then. While I got ready, she would bathe you and get you ready. Luckily, we had a maid who would come at six and another who would come to clean the house. After completing everything and packing the stuff you would need for the day, we left home at 7.15 am to drop you with Nerul grandparents at 7.20 am. We then went ahead. I used to get dropped at Palm Beach in Vashi from where I would take a cab or go with my colleague named Preethi Menon in her car.

What I admired about you all through this has been your ability to adapt to a change. Your routine went haywire and still you managed to go through without a complaint, all smiles. You radiated so much positivity and energy. You ensured that your parents could concentrate on their respective work without getting worried. You won us in that week. I hope you carry that spirit all through life! Well done again, Ananya!

As soon as we dropped you, Nerul Ammuma would take you to the garden for a walk, she would show your flowers and trees. After a nice morning walk, you would come home, have a light breakfast and go to sleep. Whatsapp has been a great tool. We had a group called Angel, which comprised of Deepa, Nerul Ammuma, Achchchan and Vinu uncle. This group was dedicated to talk about you and share your pics and videos. We received regular updates from Ammuma on this group.

We worked in our office in peace knowing you were happy. We saw videos of you enjoying nursery rhymes sung by Ammuma and the kids that she teaches.

In the evening, your mom would come to Nerul and pick you up and you both would take a autorickshaw to come to Seawoods. It is not easy at all for Deepa. I am sure it is not easy for Nerul Ammuma and Achchachan too. But you have been a very good child.

I really cherish the moments after I come home in the evening. As you know, I work in Andheri so it takes a good two hours to reach home after office. So, as soon as I step out, my single-minded focus is to reach home as fast as I can. I used to run for the metro train, I used to book a cab from the metro itself to not waste time in transit. It tried my best to reach as fast as possible.

As soon as I came home, you would see me and smile in excitement. You would kick the bed vehemently with your legs, look up and keep smiling and laughing. That, to me, was utmost fulfilling.

Then, for at least an hour, we had our own father-daughter time while your mom made dinner for you. She used to experiment with various healthy foods. She would sometimes make soup, sometimes porridge, fruit juices etc.

During this time, you and I played without a care in the world. We jumped, we ran, we played on the bed, I would make faces, try to put a rhyme together. I would sometimes lift you up and walk. You would cuddle and sleep in my arm at times listening to the nursery rhymes I sang. I am sure the nursery rhymes are damn good as I cannot credit my singing for anything good. During this while, I also realized that the nursery rhyme with the highest recall for me was “Mary had a little Lamb”. 

That’s also because you really loved listening to it.

8-Months young!

Today, you are eight months young. We love you so much that we cannot even explain. You have changed our lives so much for the better. I pray to god to give you good health, happiness and the ability to find your calling as early as possible in life. I would love you to do something that you really enjoy doing and excel at it. Most importantly, we would want to see you grow into a remarkable human being.

Enjoy the next phase of growth Ananya. By the look of it, I think you will start talking before I write my next post!

The First Few Milestones!

Hey Ananya,

You are more than 6 months old now. You are continuing to grow into a beautiful little girl. Your mother is taking utmost care of you and she doesn’t get tired at all. She is happily putting up with what your heart desires. She laughs along with you, she cares for you, plays games and pampers you when you cry. She’s even extended her leave from office to spend a few more months with you. Not many young children are as lucky as you are. You should always be grateful. 

Alright, I think it is getting too serious. Life is meant to be enjoyed. So, let me take you through all the beautiful moments that I can recollect.

The world looks different – A rendezvous with perspective

It was 8 am in the morning, 7^th of December 2017, two to three days after you turned four months old. You were all well covered. We wanted to help you feel warm as the temperatures in Mumbai had dropped considerably.

On the majestic bed, at your mother’s house in Andheri, you rolled over and went upside down. Suddenly, the world looked different. The ceiling was no more what you saw. Rather you saw your bed very close to your face. You did not know what to do. Then, as if you brain had instructed you to, you moved your tiny hands below your chest and began to raise your head. That’s when you discovered that you could lift your head and see afar. What a feeling it might have been! Were you scared? Were you delighted? It seemed to be a mix of both when I looked at you. I am sure life would give you many more such experiences. Relish them and enjoy those moments. And like the upside-down moment, you should share the experience with two people for sure – your mom and your dad. Wishing you many more such joyous experiences.

Making Sense of things

Carrying you around has been a delight Ananya. When I would carry you around, I feel a sense of calm and comfort that I have never felt. However, unlike your younger days, you now seem to make sense of things. You make some noises and try to probably tell what you feel. However, from your actions, the only thing we could comprehend is that you were amazed, delighted and sometimes, even curious about things around you. Things such as lights, fans, paintings, photographs and new people whom you would have seen for the first time – all started making sense to you. I am amazed at how comfortable you are around people. You give them a lovely smile and make their day.  It is a great skill to have! Keep it up!

A birthday celebration

The day is 19^th December. It was your uncle Jagdeep’s birthday. Your aunt Shruti brought a cake for us to cut. Whenever there is a birthday, it is a practice to cut a cake and celebrate. If you are reading this, you would be aware of the same by now.

This was the first birthday celebration that happened after you started making sense of things. You saw a delicious cake being cut and people feeding cake to each other. You enjoyed the occasion. The mobile cameras, the photographs, the cake cutting etc.

First Taste

Let me explain this to you. Our family comes from a state called Kerala in India. Keralites have a concept called star birthday. (I will explain this when we speak).

Between the fifth and the sixth month of the birth star, a function is organized and is attended by your parents, grandparents, uncles, aunties etc. During this function, your mom and I gave you the first taste of food.

Your mom has been following the best practices in raising children. She was determined to ensure that you would be fed only mother’s milk in the first six months. This is very important and is the biggest reason for the good health you enjoy today.

Hence, this occasion was just a teaser into the delicacies that you will gorge on in your lifetime. You loved the taste of the various food items. This function was held in Shri Krishna Temple in Andheri (West), very close to your mom’s house. So, another milestone was accomplished. It was in the last day of the year 2017. The date was 31^st December 2017.

The joy of spitting

And it was during this time that you discovered the joy of creating saliva and spitting it around your mouth. You probably thought it was a game. You may have liked the feeling of doing it.

While it is not welcome for an adult to spit around, for a baby it is adorable. Your spitting expedition was an adorable one and we will cherish it in our heart and etch it in our memory.

The 6-month Anniversary celebration

Days turned into months. Months turned into half a year. We were all so happy. You had become six months old. I went to office very early so that I could leave a bit early and be back in time to celebrate with you.

We ordered a cake for you. A chocolate cake from a nearby cakeshop called Baker’s treat. This was the first cake that was cut for you. We put a little bit of chocolate on your face too. You were looking amazing. Your pretty white dress and a little bit of brown chocolate on your face made you look beautiful!

These six months have been the happiest for your mom and I. Hope you are your happy self all the time and cherish these joyful moments. After all, life is all about such well-lived moments enjoyed in the company of your family and loved ones.

I do not want to get into preach mode. So, I sign off here. Wish you all the best for the next six months! Enjoy each moment, cherish each experience and leave your worries, if any, to your mother and to me.

The first smiles and the first sights!

Hi Ananya,

Hope you find this interesting when you read it. I have tried to capture how you were from month two to month four after you were born.

You had probably started seeing better. You would gaze constantly on most things while being in awe of it. The tubelights, the fan, the paintings on the wall, the TV. Wonder what was going through your mind but you would repeatedly look at it when I would walk with you around the house.

This is the time when Deepa and you were in Andheri with your grandfather and grandmother. I worked in Clover Infotech which was in Andheri too. Every evening after work, I would hop into a metro and come down to the house, eager to see you. I would spend most weekdays with you.

The signal

I vividly enjoyed the moment when you would lift your tiny hands and legs (a signal to tell me that I should be lifting you up in my arms). You would give me a lovely smile too!

The calm and poised you!

I remember, one day, there were a lot of people in the house who had come down to attend a prayer session arranged by your grandmother for the devotees who were planning to visit the Aiyappa temple in Kerala. We thought you would panic and would cry when you see so many people. Au Contraire, you seemed happy with the attention and gave everyone a nice smile, much to the delight of all who visited the house.

Your playtime!

You chose to play during the nights, especially after midnight. You were a ball of energy. Deepa had a tough time and very less sleep during this phase. She would be up almost the whole night playing with you, feeding you, changing diapers if required and in general, taking very good care of you. You should never forget the love and care she gave you during this time. No one could have sacrificed so much for you.

I also changed the diapers at times. I thought I would do a very shoddy job of it, but I managed better than my own expectation😊

In the nights, to put you to sleep, I would carry you around. After quite a few trips and admiring things in the room with your head above my collar bone, you would slowly drift off to sleep. I would go and stand near the mirror to check if you have slept. And then, I would see your eyes wide open, sometimes you would give me a smile too. Its almost like saying, “Not yet, acha (dad), not yet”.

Then slowly you would drift off to sleep.

The weekends

In the weekdays, I would click a lot of pictures and videos of you. There is a video which I really like (actually two videos). Check it here. You were laughing your heart out and enjoying life to the fullest. I hope you live your entire life like this. Happy and laughing no matter what the challenges are!

I would go home, our house in Seawoods, during the weekends. We had a maid who would come down on weekends to keep the house clean. On a Friday night, when there is no one at home and I could sleep as much as I want, I strangely found that I did not get too much sleep. I used to keep looking at your pictures and videos till late into the night. I missed you a lot during the weekends.

To sum up

I know you are born in a generation where access to internet is easy and ubiquitous, and you prefer videos to reading. So, I would like to sum up this phase as below:

When I used to walk around and put you to sleep, I wouldn’t realize if you have slept because I couldn’t see your face resting on my collar bone. However, when I started feeling small breaths on my collar accompanies by the noise of your breathing, I would realize that you have slept. I would miss those breaths (and their warmth) forever!

I would fondly carry you around in such a way that my forearm would act like a branch of a tree for you to perch yourself on. Your head on my shoulders, your tiniest hands on my chest, and the small breaths are things that will be etched in my memory forever. I am going to miss them as you are growing bigger, taller, sharper and smarter with each passing day. But, I want to thank you for giving me so many unforgettable and precious memories to cherish. You have made our (Deepa and I) lives extremely special.

Cheers!

Vimal Pillai 

Two beautiful months!

As my little bundle of joy turned two months old, I thought of penning down her thoughts about me. So, here we go!



As I came out into the world, lovely, nice and bright,

The nurse handed me to a man, who stared at me with delight.

I soon went to sleep, in a nice warm sheet, very close to my mother,

Woke up to see the same person again, did the world have no other?

The face stared at me every day, every time I opened my eyes,

I wondered if he was jobless, or was he being really nice?

A week went by and it did change, for I started seeing him less,

I was happy to know he did some work, he wasn’t a complete mess.

I started seeing him more in the evenings, working his antics with élan,

Did all this come naturally to him, or did he work on it with a plan?

I slowly realized he was trying all this, just to see me smile,

The slightest curl of my lips, made him beam like a groom in the aisle.

He was eager to pick me up all the while, around the house he would walk,

His shoulders formed the horizon, and about everything I saw, he would talk.

I started getting used to him, to hold me in different styles he would dare,

Every time he changed his grip, I would raise my hand in a scare.

He might have realized what I felt; he started being more careful,

If I would cry for even a minute, he started to feel awful.

I realized this man was not a stranger, as I thought once he would be,

His constant presence did mean that he found joy in being with me.

I started hearing carefully, what everyone called him when we were together,

It did not take much for me to figure out, that this man is actually my father.  

I do know now that I can demand of him, when the beautiful world I want to see,

All I need to do is wave my hand and smile, and he will lift me and walk with glee.

  

The Race..

He ran alongside, the boys his age,
They finished the race before,
he reached the half way stage. 

 Dejected he came running, to his smiling father,

And said he practiced the hardest, 

 But why he couldn't run any faster?

But who told you that the race is over?

And, why do you want to, run for cover.

"Which race are you talking about?", he asked his dad.

Did you not see what happened, have you actually gone mad?

The calm dad said," I am talking about a different race"

Where each and every one runs at his own desired pace.

But no one is aware that there is a time limit,

For players may vanish, when they approach the summit.

"How do you win such a silly race?", asked the son.

By enjoying the run, within it lies the fun.

Is this race for real, or something trife?

Dad smiled and said,"It's been around a while, we call it life."

.

What was killing her?

Chapter 1

“I am her son”, said Dinu. He had not slept much over the last few days in the hope that she would survive. He was with her, right beside her, talking to her, cheering her up. But Cancer emerged winner. It was probably envious of her infectious energy and her endearing smile.

The doctor said, “You are a nice man. You were with your mother when she needed you the most”. Dinu thanked the doctor.

His friend, Maneesh, arrived at the hospital. He gave him a hug and tried to console the visibly depressed friend. Maneesh was a legal practitioner. He wanted to arrange for everything to ensure that the deceased could leave the world peacefully so he got on with the task.

“Let’s start arranging for her death certificate”, Maneesh said. “Do ask the doctor if a post-mortem report is required?”, he added.

“Why do you need a death certificate?”, Dinu asked Maneesh.

“A Death Certificate is a document issued by the Government to the next of kin or the nearest relatives of the deceased. It states the date and cause of death. You must register death to ensure that the individual is relieved from social, legal and official obligations, to enable settlement of property inheritance, and enable her/ his family to stake a claim on the insurance amount, if the person has a life insurance. It is a mandatory requirement as per the Registration of Births and Deaths Act, 1969.”, answered Maneesh.

“Thanks, Maneesh”, he said. I am glad you are around. I will speak to the doctor while you take care of the other formalities.

He asked the doctor if a post-mortem was required. The doctor looks up at the ceiling for about 30 seconds. The fingers of his right and left hand huddled like they were members of a cricket team. He bought this huddled unit to his chin indicating that he was considering the situation in its entirety before answering.

Finally, he spoke. “When the cause of death has been given by the attending/ treating medical practitioner in the Government Format of Medical Certification of Cause of death (MCCD Form 4/4A-) and there is absolutely no doubt about the cause of her death, a post-mortem is not necessary.”

He again thanked the doctor and started handling the arrangements to take her home. Maneesh had arranged for all the legal papers and the ambulance to take her to the crematorium.

Arranging for the funeral

Dinu had decided that as per the mother’s wishes, she would be cremated in the traditional pyre. As per Hindu tradition, the body is draped in a white cloth and kept on top of a huge pile of wood. Then, prayers are chanted following which the son of the deceased lights the pyre. The body is burned and the soul gets released from the body and reincarnates into a new body as per Hindu tradition.

Maneesh had already arranged for the logs of wood, kerosene, cow dung cakes etc. The ambulance had arrived and the body was placed on the makeshift bed where the dead body lay. Four of Dinu’s friend’s including Maneesh held one end of this bed on their shoulders and carried the dead body towards the ambulance.

They alighted the body at the crematorium and carried it towards the pyre.
The crematory operator checked if all the papers are in order. He also gave Dinu a document to obtain authorization for cremation of the deceased person. He then asked Dinu to remove the gold necklace on the mother unless he wanted it to be cremated along with her. Dinu asked the crematory operator to let the mother remain adorned with the gold jewelry while her soul departs the world. The operator then placed the body on the wooden pyre.

The Funeral

The Hindu Priest walked in, chanted some mantras and gave Dinu a lighted log of wood to light the pyre. He did that and with a cracked earthen pot on his shoulder and water flowing from it in a steady stream, he went around the pyre, and threw the pot behind.

There were only a handful of people at the funeral but a new face had managed to sneak in to the audience. Most of them were Dinu’s friends but a few faces were from the community. The new person who just entered waited for Dinu to take a breath.
He then pointed a finger towards Dinu and shouted in a very loud voice. “He is not Mrs. Ramnath’s son”. Everybody looked in his direction including Dinu and Maneesh.

“He is not Mrs. Ramnath’s son”, repeated the new face, finger still pointed towards Dinu. Everyone stood frozen. Time stood still. The crematorium was way more silent than it could ever have been.

To be continued…

Chapter 2:

A few people walked towards the stranger. “How do you know?”, they asked. “Who are you?”, asked someone else. The commotion started to build. Maneesh was the only person walking towards Dinu. The sounds of commotion soon started fading in Dinu’s head. His mind, in an instant, was back in that local train where he had seen Mrs. Ramnath for the first time.

That Friday Afternoon

Dinu is an expert sales professional. He could sell anything, anywhere and to anyone. And like any good sales person, he was a brilliant conversationalist. He could strike a chord with a child, a teenager, a youngster, an adult or an old man with the same enthusiasm and élan. And like any brilliant sales person, he was also an eternal optimist. These two qualities enabled him to connect with people seamlessly.
In that crowded local train, Dinu was talking on his phone with a client. He knew the pulse of his clients to perfection. He had a feeling he was just a question away from getting an affirmative reply.

“How will I know that the leads you share with me are relevant?”, asked the client.
Dinu had anticipated this but he delayed the response. He did not want the client to believe that he had been asked this question many times before. Sales is a mind game. He believed that if the client felt smart and important while dealing with him, he would almost always get the deal in his favour. If his stellar track record was any indication, he was a master at the “Sales” mind game.

Dinu finally answered, “Sir, I am so happy you asked me this question. Ratan Agarwal asked me the same question three years back and I don’t need to tell you where he is today. As did Samir Mishra and Sudhir Sheth. You are in the same league as these extraordinary gentlemen Sir. I will still answer your question. Our team follows a …. “
He knew his “ego-massage” weapon had clicked when the client cut him mid-way and said “I think let’s start the engagement. You send the final proposal to my team and let us take it ahead from there.”

Dinu thanked the client and heaved a sigh of relief. He, now, had the weekend to himself – to relax and to enjoy. He thought of taking a quick nap as he was among the lucky people in the train to have gotten a place to sit. He was just about to close his eyes when he saw a familiar face. He tried to place this face in his mind but could not recollect where he had seen this lady.

The first interaction

This had happened to him many times in his life – in offices, railway stations, malls and airports. He would often see a face which always made him glance one more time. A face that stood out in the crowd. The reason was not always beauty. There were times when the face wasn’t the best around but he felt a strange need to look or stare. He felt a strange connect. He did not know why. He also did not know if such things happened to everyone.

He again looked at the lady. She had a beautiful, yet tired and pale face. She had a huge bag in her hand. It appeared to be heavier than her frail frame. Dinu felt the need to get up and offer her his seat. And he did.

“Thank you for the seat, beta (son)”, said the lady to Dinu. “Most welcome, Ma’am”, said Dinu. He offered her his seat. Soon, one of the seats was vacated and he sat opposite the lady. “You remind me of my son.”, she said. Dinu smiled “What does your son do, how old is he?”, asked Dinu.

“He is thirty years old. He is currently working in one of the largest multi-national companies in the world. He is leading their Sales division and is a favorite to assume the post of the CEO within the next five years. The current CEO has taken him under his wings and he is learning the ropes well with him. He was a brilliant student. He topped his exams in every class. He loves cycling, swimming…. “, she went on talking incessantly. After a few minutes, Dinu got bored of the mother’s abundant affection that was flowing into the conversation. He decided it was time to change the subject as he still had twenty minutes to go before he could reach his destination.

“Why did you not go to the US with him?”, asked Dinu. Her happy and eager face suddenly showed a hint of sadness. However, she quickly regained composure and said, “My son and his wife are busy professionals. If I go there, they don’t have much time for me so I thought it would be easier to just spend time in your homeland with family and friends.”.

“Interesting”, said Dinu but realized that something was amiss. They kept talking about various things and finally Dinu told her that his station had arrived and that he would want to alight. The lady said she was also going to alight. With Dinu leading the way, they carved a path for themselves to get out of the crowded train. As soon as she got out of the train, the huge bag that the lady was carrying fell of her hands and its contents lay on the platform floor.”

Dinu could see spare clothes, a newspaper, a few tissues and a file. The file read the name of one of the most sought hospitals in the country. The hospital specialized in Cancer treatment. “Either she is detected with cancer or someone close to her is suffering from it”, said Dinu to himself. Dinu picked up her stuff, put it in her bag and handed the large bag over to the lady. They walked towards the auto rickshaw stand.
“Have you stayed in this city all your life?”, Dinu asked her. “No”, said the lady. She told him that she had moved in just a year ago. She said that after her husband passed away and her son went to the US, it did not make much sense to stay alone in Bangalore.

Dinu offered to drop her as he was travelling alone. They both got into the rickshaw and it started moving. The heat was unbearable and the auto driver’s maneuvers around the potholes made it a bit more uncomfortable.

Dinu asked her, “What’s your name, Ma’am?”. No response came. The lady seemed lost in some thought. He repeated his question. He was as persistent as any sales person would have been.  

“Oh sorry, I was thinking about something else”, she said. “My name is Arti Ramnath. I was a school teacher in Bangalore. I retired two years ago.”

A recently opened huge retail mart could be seen a few meters away.  “Please drop me here. I need to shop for some grocery before I head home,” said the lady. Dinu asked the rickshaw driver to drop her just in front of its entrance. She waved her hands to him, flashed a very pleasant smile and thanked him for the company.

Who was she?

The auto-rickshaw started moving. Dinu turned back to look at her walk into the retail store. He could see her image fading away as the vehicle moved ahead. However, the image of her face refused to fade away from his memory. He reached home. He changed his clothes, washed his face, wiped it and sat down on his couch. He switched on the television. His mind still clung to the face. He just could not get it out of his head. He started to ponder if he had seen Mrs. Ramnath earlier. He switched off the television and started to think.

After about ten minutes, he jumped off his couch and ran to his mobile. He dialed a number. A septuagenarian picked his call. The baritone sounded like a famous movie star but this person was not in any way associated with movies. He had done remarkable social work in his life and was very well respected for it.

Dinu spoke to the person for five minutes and the last question he asked was, “What was her name?”. The septuagenarian replied, “Mrs. Ramnath”. “Full name”, said an impatient Dinu. “Arti Ramnath”. Dinu thanked the person on the other end of the phone. He said he was going to meet him in person early morning the next day.

Dinu made a quick call to Maneesh and told him, “We are going to Alibaug tomorrow”. Alibaug is a beautiful place on the outskirts of Mumbai and is adorned with beaches. People often visit this place for a weekend getaway. For Dinu, the purpose of the visits was very different.

Maneesh looked at the date on his calendar and said,” Why tomorrow? It is the first Saturday of the month, we go there on the second Saturday each month.”

“No, it’s urgent.”, said Dinu. Maneesh agreed to go and they decided to drive down to Alibaug early next morning.

Dinu kept his mobile on the table. He lay down on the couch and laughed. “She deserves it. That’s God’s way of getting back at her.”

Today wasn’t the first time he had met Mrs. Ramnath. He remembered that morning twenty-two years ago when he, a young boy aged eight, first saw her. She was younger, prettier and meaner. He was laughing but tears were also rolling down his cheeks. He found it difficult to crack this emotional quagmire.

To be continued…

Chapter 3:

The pitch-dark night sky was slowly becoming lighter. It was a pleasant Saturday morning. Maneesh arrived at the gate of Dinu’s house and honked. The watchman guarding Dinu’s society was visibly irritated, though Maneesh had honked only once. He came to the gate to ask Maneesh to stop. He almost reprimanded Maneesh and told him that it was a Saturday morning and most people slept till late.

Maneesh had a smile on his face. It was his way of dealing with any aggression coming his way. “Do you eat Chocolates?”, he asked the watchman. The anger on his face completely surrendered to the confusion in his mind. He was rattled by the rather unusual question.

Maneesh took out three rum chocolates from his car and handed it over to him. He told the watchman about the ingredients. “Have this before everyone wakes up”, he said and winked at the watchman. The watchman smiled. “Do you want to get the car inside?”, asked the watchman. Maneesh smiled again and made a gesture with his face which indicated that Dinu was just a few metres away.

Maneesh could turn the toughest of cookies into jelly in no time. He could do it without himself getting angry or perturbed. It was a special trait, and was especially helpful in his profession.

The drive to Alibaug

Dinu got into the car and Maneesh started driving. The watchman smiled and even waved at Maneesh, thanking him once again for the chocolates. Dinu was not his usual self though. He was lost in thought.

“Good morning, hope all is well?”, asked Maneesh. Dinu nodded his head. “I don’t think so. Just blurt it out and you will feel better.”, said Maneesh. Like an afterthought, he added, “I know you are a kick-ass salesman but that does not mean you can lie to a lawyer”. The friends laughed.

Dinu narrated the incident. Maneesh listened intently. Just when Dinu finished narrating the entire incident from the previous day in fine detail, Maneesh pulled the car off the road into their usual petrol pump.

The price of petrol had gone up by three rupees. “Kitna bharu sahib” (how much petrol should I fill in?)”, the attendant at the petrol pump asked Maneesh.

He asked him to fill petrol for two thousand rupees. “Full tank bhar lo sahib”, advised the petrol pump attendant. “Will I get a discount if I do that?”, asked Maneesh. It had the same effect on the attendant as the watchman at Dinu’s place. He was totally confused. However, Maneesh asked him to go ahead after giving a thought to his plans for the upcoming week.

Maneesh handed him the money and they continued their journey. “So, what are you planning to do?”, asked Maneesh. “I want to talk to father. I want to talk to him about that day. I still remember it vividly. It seems like it happened just yesterday.”

“Don’t you think you should let go of it and move on?”, asked Maneesh. “Dinu stared at Maneesh and said, “It is easy for you to say that. You will never understand how that pain; not in this life.”

Maneesh gauged that it would have been sensible to leave Dinu alone for some time. He switched on the radio and continued to drive. A leading RJ, who had a peppy number created by the radio station just for him, was on air. The number described him as the Voice of Mumbai.

He had a different voice and was adept at conversing in English, Hindi and the local language spoken in Mumbai (and Maharashtra), called “Marathi”.

He spoke about the issue of increase in school fees and was airing views from irked parents. After some intense comments, he decided to clear the tension with a new chartbuster which was making waves. The song, composed by a youth sensation, had lyrics wherein a girl insisted that the DJ play the song she liked.

The usual stop-over for tea was rather quick and they reached the destination within the next hour.

The Angel Nest

The “Angel Nest” was a few months away from completing its fiftieth anniversary, or Golden Jubilee as it is often referred to as. Over the years, the institution had done some great work and empowered a lot of orphaned children with education and shelter till the time they could take care of themselves independently.

Dinu was one such child. For as long back as he could recall, the only face that he could remember as his first port of call was father Francis. Father Francis was running this orphanage for the last 40 years. He was a very well respected person in the community and was admired for his work. He has been conferred with a lot of awards. 

Father Francis was the face of Angel Nest. Industrialists, cricketers and film-stars contributed to “Angel’s Nest” as they had complete faith in Father Francis.

Dinu’s visit was unexpected. The children always expected them on a second Saturday so it was unusual for them to see him and Maneesh uncle. However, they were more than happy to receive their share of chocolates and cookies which uncle Dinu and Maneesh invariably bought for them.

After their routine interaction with the kids, Dinu and Maneesh went inside to meet father Francis. The ever-smiling father Francis welcomed them both to his cabin. They sat opposite father.

Dinu did not waste too much time. The father listened to his narration once again. Dinu ended it with, “As you sow, so shall you reap. That’s what you have always told father. She will have to pay for her sins.”.

“What sins?”, asked the father.

“You are asking me that. You very well know why she chose Gary over me on that day when she came to adopt a kid at the orphanage.”

“Who told you all this Dinu?”, asked the father, calm as ever.

“I knew she chose me over Gary because he was a better student and was considered more intelligent than me. I won’t tell you the source as he confided this to me on the condition that I keep his identity confidential.”, replied Dinu.

He was angry and sad at the same time.

The father was angry at the undisclosed source of the information but he did not show it. He told Dinu, “Your source has misguided you. There was no choice to make in the first place. She decided to adopt Gary, not because he was the brightest, but because he was physically weak and was a sick child. She wanted the neediest child in the orphanage to get the love and care. That’s all. I am so disappointed that you are carrying unnecessary venom within you for so long.”

Dinu was now confused. The father further added to it by saying, “You know what. 

The very next day after she adopted Gary, she called me and said that she would like to fund your education and expenses as she was feeling bad that she could not adopt you. Without being around, she took great care of you, Dinu. If I were you, I would see what best I could do for her in this tough phase of her life. I would expect the same from every child who has lived here and is now a capable and self-dependent individual.”

The father’s words had completely changed Dinu. He was no more upset or sad. He was feeling a concern, a void. He felt that he had become blinded by some unverified facts and it had clouded his rationale. He felt guilty for having thought ill about Mrs. Ramnath. He decided to track her down. He thanked father Francis and told him that he wanted to leave. Father saw Dinu and Maneesh to the gate of “Angel Nest”. The children waved good-bye to their favourite uncles.

The Confession

Father rushed back quickly after seeing Dinu and Maneesh off. He hurried to his room, went to the almighty’s chamber and asked for forgiveness. There was rarely a day in his life of seventy years that the father had lied to anyone. Today, he had lied to one of his favourite people in the world. Though there was some truth in what he said, he still could not come to terms with the fact that he had to lie to get things moving the way he would have liked.

To be continued …